Grow Your Faith - Tips for Adult

Talk About Religion; Don't Fight

CIVIL DISCUSSIONS RULES

1. You and your point of view are not the same things.

2. Avoid ad hominem logic. Talk to the issue without personal attacks.

3. Don’t use character assassination.

4. Don’t read into the motives of others.

5. Don’t call people names.

6. Meanness is unacceptable behavior.

7. Stick to the topic.

8. Do not dredge up ancient history when it is not necessary.

9. Be as nice as you possibly can muster even to a mean person no matter what you think of him.

10. All "on topic" points of view are welcome, even if needing more factual support.

11. Don’t nitpick over small and non-essential details to create red herrings.

12. Welcome expressions like "I think" or "I feel" without personal assault.

13. Encourage diversity of input to discussions and use commonsense politeness.

14. State your case and don't be evasive when directly asked an opinion question.

15. Saying "I don't know" or "Let me look that up and get back to you" is an intelligent choice of words that pleases everyone, even God.

16. I welcome different ways of knowing than the rational technique of arguing.

17. Logical fallacies identified by the Greek philosophers may be pointed out, and when accurately pointed out, do not call for retaliation against the person who pointed it out.

18. No shouting please.

19. Present your case positively without defining yourself by solely tearing others down.

20. Critique other’s ideologies if you can support your own position.

21. Accept criticism of your own ideology charitably, whether it was given charitably or not.

22. Do not imply anyone is stupid We don’t judge people..

23. If making a moral critique of any sort, focus on acts instead of persons.

24. Be merciful to those who admit being wrong; your time will come too.

25. Treat all others with the respect due to a human person possessing the incomparable dignity revealed in the Incarnation event.

26. Feel free to appeal to textual support if you have it for your opinions, such as Vatican documents, the Bible, statements from bishops, etc., but don't overwhelm us.

27. If you’ve been away from the Church for a long time and feel a bit awkward, don’t be afraid to ask questions..

28. Follow the Golden Rule, whether you think it makes sense or not

29. Mind your P's and Q's, and stick to the subject.

30. If you're thinking ill of someone, don't say it, and try not to let it leak into your conversation.

31. Have no fear to show the “tough love” needed to foster justice and the “life dialogue,” where creativity, discovery community, and even wisdom, can occur.

32. Most of the time you can live with differing opinions.

33. You don’t have to “go to the mat” to express your opinions.

34. Be open to all and listen well. You might learn something.

35. Lower the volume. Speak quietly; more people will listen.

36. Truth doesn’t depend on your defense of it.

37. Think a little longer before you speak.

38. Absolute truth does exist, but that doesn’t mean we can explain it.

39. Really listen to the other person’s point of view; you might learn something.

40. You don’t have to win this argument today. “Tomorrow is a new day.”

41. If something is a sensitive issue for you, say so. People will usually understand.

42. Overly emotional talk usually doesn’t go far and may even terminate the conversation.

43. “I” statements are usually better than “you” statements.

44. Don’t be afraid of new ideas.

45. Define your terms right away. You may be arguing about two different things.

46. General statements (e.g., “Everyone knows” or “All rational people agree” or Nobody thinks that”) are always wrong.

47. Once in a while, say, “That’s an interesting idea.”

48. Don’t start forming your response to another’s statement until you have heard and understood it.

49. Speak slowly; think even more slowly.

50. Inflammatory language inflames; it’s doesn’t inform.

51. People can’t read your mind. Speak clearly and respectfully.

52. Trust God.

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